Artist: Dot Dot Curve
Album: Your Ears will Bleeping Bleed
Genre: Terrible Music
Label: Standby

It’s getting harder and harder to be a successful band [at least] in America. Back in the day, you could release a solid record and tour for 2-4 years on it. Yes, fans grew tired of waiting for new material, but there was such showmanship in the live performance that you were willing to be patient a few months longer. Now, even bands that critics claim have produced the “album of the decade” [that means you Animal Collective], are putting out more than one release in a year. You’ve got to strike while the fire is hot and these days, that flame doesn’t last very long at all. However, not only “good” acts are doing this and that leads me to the already much discussed Dot Dot Curve and their new waste of tape, Your Ears will Bleeping Bleed.

For those of you genuinely interested in this release, let me save you some time: THE TITLE SAYS IT ALL.

That’s really all that needs to be said, but since Spanky, the brain child of DDC took the time to “create” this work, I’ll lend him some of my time to tell him, and his sidekick Jaywreck what’s wrong with it.

“ThisDick” kicks off the record with the same set of Apple Loops we’ve been finding throughout the smaller, under funded [or perhaps musically uneducated] acts. Spanky, now constantly joined by a similarly annoying “artist” named Jaywreck, rap and scream about, you guessed it, their penises. However, they aren’t simply talking about sexual acts, but rather informing all the haters, aka the general public, to in fact perform these acts on them. If you’re wondering why they think we should do that, you’ll learn why on “crunkest” where Spanky informs us he is the “baddest motherf**ker” and considering his underwhelming sales, [middle of nowhere] Indiana upbringing, and the fact he knows how to take Myspace pics, who would argue? DDC then attempts to use drum loops to make us mosh. They even command you to do so because, you know, the best art has to be explained to the audience.

As we move through this shameful attempt at music, “Supersexxx” uses basically the same lyrics we found on his previous work “Yea I’m The Sex” and carries basically the same message: Apparently being bad at crunk and hardcore is due to bein great at sex. I mean seriously, do tracks like this work on females? Well, according to their over 8,000 fans, someone must think so.

Let’s save some time:
Other notable moments on the record:
“F**kMyLife” – Well, at least they know what I’m thinking when I have to listen to albums like this.
“B-E-A-utiful” – A surprisingly catchy beat, but destroyed by Chihuahua like yelps, er, I mean, screams.
“The Ass Song” – If you cut out all the screams and terrible vocals by replacing them with singing or even true crunk artists, this track would work, but sadly, that’s not the case.

I know that was a bit unorthodox, but why spend all my precious time writing well thought out paragraphs of criticisms when the person I’m reviewing obviously spends no time on his craft. You want my attention? Earn it.

This is pathetic.

Score: -1/10

P.S. STANDBY – WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

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James Shotwell

James Shotwell is the founder of Under The Gun Review. He loves writing about music and movies almost as much as he loves his two fat cats. He's also the co-founder of Antique Records and the Marketing Coordinator for Haulix. You should probably follow him on Twitter.

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