Sex, Drugs, And Bubblegum Pop (Week 26)

Sex, Drugs, And Bubblegum Pop, is our most outlandish column to date. Written by Mr. Jayce, vocalist for Secret Secret Dino Club and all-round funny guy, this column isn’t as much about the music as it is the experiences people in the music industry have.

WARNING: This column does and will continue to contain content some readers may find offensive. If you don’t have a sense of humor, this column is probably not for you.

“Cop Killa”- Iced Tea

When I was on my first tour ever I was about 16 years old and all the other guys in my band were way older. We mainly played houses, basements, salvation armies, libraries, and anything that wasn’t a venue. It was super DIY all the time. We were playing at a party that was some kind of disco themed. The other band we were on tour with only played songs about math and dressed up as nerds. They were great.

This party was way too loud. Not only was it was too loud but there were a lot of sketchy things going on inside. People were snorting stuff off of the stove, baking weird things and most people were underage. It wasn’t long before the police showed up. They were really mad. When they came in they saw a guy screaming about math in a gold diaper standing on top of a dresser and about 100 people raving. The cops started screaming and me being 16 decided my time at the party was over. I ran to the back porch and jumped off the second story balcony into the bushes and just started running until I reached a bowling alley. I didn’t have a cell phone or a beeper or anything at the time so I just waited hoping my band wanted to go bowling. They didn’t and I was stuck there for a while.

I found a guy a kind of knew and gave him 50 cents to let me stay at his house. I can’t even remember how I met back up with every body. After that night, there continued to be many bad party/police experiences which I enjoyed escaping. As I got older I realized escaping the police was just kind of dumb and actually not fun at all. It’s much more fun to convince yourself that the police don’t exist.

The next party we played at that house we covered Body Count’s “cop killa” 3 times.

Mr. Jayce

James Shotwell
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