Sex, Drugs, And Bubblegum Pop (Week 28)

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Sex, Drugs, And Bubblegum Pop is our most outlandish column to date. Written by Mr. Jayce, vocalist for Secret Secret Dino Club and all-round funny guy, this column isn’t as much about the music as it is the experiences people in the music industry have.

WARNING: This column does and will continue to contain content some readers may find offensive. If you don’t have a sense of humor, this column is probably not for you.

“Excuse me, Willenium”-Will2k

Happy 2012 everybody. 2011 was a pretty crazy year. It started with me vomiting on a cop’s feet in Times Square and ended with me chugging champagne out of Dixie cups off of a table of free drinks. Every year in my life I seem to hit a new high and a new low. 

I’d have to say one of the lows for me this year was projectile vomiting on all my friend’s and all over my friends house. Have you ever known you were going to puke but there was nothing you could do about it? You know if you stay where you are, eventually you are going to puke. If you move, the action of moving will make you puke. I got caught in that predicament, and ended up technicolor yawning all over everything in sight. I was cleaning pieces of chicken off the walls. I really need to start chewing better. I generally don’t care about anything, but for some reason I was so ashamed of myself this time. It was so bad that I punished myself by trying to do the master cleanse. After two days I forgot how I play the guitar and passed out. I had to stop, but I guess that was punishment enough. That was awful though.

It’s crazy how much can happen in a year, and how much you can change without even noticing. A year ago today I was on a tour bus working on the Allstar Weekend album, getting a Charlie Brown tattoo from my drunk friend who kept spilling his drink and wiping it up with the shirt off of his back. As I sit at home and reminisce about this last year, and as this column hits a near half year mark, I am thankful I have this column to write about myself. Without this column I would probably forget the majority of my life by next year. Thanks for reading, here’s to a wonderful and interesting 2012!

Mr. Jayce

James Shotwell

James Shotwell is the founder of Under The Gun Review. He loves writing about music and movies almost as much as he loves his two fat cats. He's also the co-founder of Antique Records and the Marketing Coordinator for Haulix. You should probably follow him on Twitter.

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