Sex, Drugs, And Bubblegum Pop is our most outlandish column to date. Written by Mr. Jayce, vocalist for Secret Secret Dino Club and all-round funny guy, this column isn’t as much about the music as it is the experiences people in the music industry have.

WARNING: This column does and will continue to contain content some readers may find offensive. If you don’t have a sense of humor, this column is probably not for you.

“it’s just rock n roll”-Cobra Statship’s side project

There are a lot of things in the world I hate, and a lot of things I’m annoyed by. When people ask you to play their benefit show across the country for free is pretty annoying. But more annoying, is when people say the scene is dead and attack people like me or my friends for “killing the scene”. Do you want to know how the scene died? It’s not because my band was signed to Drive-Thru Records and we weren’t a pop punk band.

I don’t really know the age of my average reader, but I would assume they are younger than I. You are probably from this current age of mega tours. The tours where you pay $30 to see 2 bands you really like and 4 bands you’ve never heard of. Never any locals. T-shirts are $25 minimum and the show is in a medium sized amphitheater type place with giant barricades and plenty of security to keep the bands safe from the dangers of screaming mega fans. You probably go to 3-4 concerts a year if you really break it down. Do you know why you don’t know any of the opening bands? And why they don’t seem very well rehearsed? Because their parents paid some good money to get them on that tour. Buying on to a tour can cost you anywhere from $10,000-$250,000. People in the real world really pay this to be on a tour. This pays for your favorite band to be on a bus/etc. To be honest I don’t really have a problem with this. Every band’s manager is going to try and make them the most amount of money that’s available. Although it has happened all through music history, it has definitely been the decline of live music in the last 5-10 years. In the same way that local bands don’t even write their own songs anymore, and have profile pictures before they even have songs.

The way touring used to be seemed to be a much better model. Bands would go on small headlining tours multiple times a year with 1-2 other bands that made sense and a couple local openers. Locals sold tickets because having people see them play was much more important than a YouTube cover or a “twitter spree”. I don’t want to sound old and jaded and like things were way better “back in my day”. I’m just really sick of people saying the scene is dead because a lot of the bands and labels you love killed it right in front of you.

Go to more shows, not just the mega shows. They will cost you $10, which is cheaper than seeing a movie and cheaper than eating at the Olive Garden. Find your new favorite band that way, and not on YouTube.

Mr. Jayce

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James Shotwell

James Shotwell is the founder of Under The Gun Review. He loves writing about music and movies almost as much as he loves his two fat cats. He's also the co-founder of Antique Records and the Marketing Coordinator for Haulix. You should probably follow him on Twitter.

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