May 18th, 2012 
Jacob Tender 
Sex, Drugs, And Bubblegum Pop is the most outlandish column on UTG. Written by Mr. Jayce, vocalist for Secret Secret Dino Club and all-round funny guy, this column isn’t as much about the music as it is the experiences people in the music industry have.
WARNING: This column does and will continue to contain content some readers may find offensive. If you don’t have a sense of humor, this column is probably not for you.
Drugs don’t seem to be very cool in music anymore. For whatever reason drug users (with the exception of probably marijuana users) are villainized by the public. We are no longer in the days of rock stars (Jonny Craig is not a rock star, he’s a loser) doing coke and heroin before they hop on stage. However, it seems to be pretty normal and almost encouraged for bands to be drunk on stage. I can’t think of one band I like that I haven’t seen fairly drunk either in concert or on a video. Being in the music business, and a fellow drunk performer, I understand the novelty of drinking before you play. It makes me wonder though. At what point do people stop wanting to see their favorite musicians drunk? Where is the line drawn between “art” and “loser”?
It definitely wouldn’t make me look very good If I sat here and listed all the stupid things I’ve said and done while drunk on stage. It would probably even raise a question internally about my dependency on alcohol to play a show. Although I’ve seen other people do way more embarrassing things than I have ever done. It seems there is a fine (but sometimes blurry) line between being funny drunk and having an alcohol problem. At what point does the public decide to turn on you from supporting your alcohol to feeling internet sympathetic and acting like they care about you getting help? It’s the same people who were singing along to Amy Whinehouse’s “rehab” that post about how sad they are about her death and how they don’t understand how she didn’t get help.
People are going to make their own decisions. Rock stars are going to be rock stars. They all do arrogant and crazy things so that no one else has to. That’s what has always made music so interesting. The unpredictability of the people who make it. Great music always comes from groups of individuals with distinct personalities. It’s hard to admit that a lot of these personalities have been greatly influenced by drugs and alcohol.
I’ve seen lots of parents and straight edge people speak out against this kind of stuff in music. I’ve had fans come right up to me and tell me they will never see me in concert because they know that I drink. Would you not listen to Janis Joplin because she was on drugs when she recorded her albums? Would you not listen to Jimmy Hendrix shred the guitar while he was on acid? Maybe you wouldn’t. Without a doubt, I would watch and listen to anyone on anything.
Mr. Jayce
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