REVIEW: Vampires Everywhere! – Hellbound and Heartless

Artist: Vampires Everywhere
Album: Hellbound and Heartless
Genre: Shock rock
Label: Hollywood Waste Records

The song titles on this album are choice. Just glancing over ditties like “Star of 666” and “III: The 7th Gate,” you can see exactly how much fun someone in a dark room, possibly shrouded in lace and clutching their copy of The Crow, must have had. It has the same affected darkness that informed old school HIM, without any of the intoxicating charisma of Ville Valo or the genuine musical depth. That said, there’s an extensive market for bands who choose to market this kind of gimmick, and to be fair, it’s easy to see why. It’s too easy to pick apart and mock people who drench themselves in stage make-up and go out to sing hard rock songs about subjects that probably ought to be taken far more seriously. More often than not, they’re backed up by a decently enthralling hook or two and relentlessly paced instrumental excess, so that for all your cringing sense of superiority, it’s not that difficult to be swept up. Vampires Everywhere give lots away about their schtick just in their name, and a quick search will return images that wouldn’t look amiss from early My Chemical Romance shoots – if they’d been cross-referenced with Aidan’s make-up box. Hellbound and Heartless certainly has its moments – lots of moments, in fact – and wears its barely-veiled Marilyn Manson aspirations firmly on its sleeve. It’s catchy and slick for the most part, boasting the kind of angst-ridden, shamelessly pastiche Goth twist of continental types such as Deathstars. If the lyrics don’t inspire too much yawning and the posturing doesn’t wear too thin, there is actually plenty to like here.

“I: Hellbound” is, really, nothing more than a climactic hustle presumably intended to act as the overture for a live show. It builds suitable levels of anticipation for “I Can’t Breathe,” a collision of rasping vocals and anarchic instruments that openly celebrates raucous rawk. It’s tenser and more well-crafted than you might expect; possibly taking itself a little too seriously but otherwise quite enjoyable. “Beauty Queen” is less incisive and a bit more tongue-in-cheek. The shuddering, bass-driven midsection is really fun, drowning out the silliness of the lyrics. Michael Vampire (he’s so proud of it, he put his name on it) offers his finest Manson impression and powers it all along. “Drug of Choice” is leavened with some form of synth effects to give it the desired injection of eeriness. These actually add a twisting, ghostly vibe to the verses and together with the choppy rhythm, make this a more appealing song than you’d expect. The chorus isn’t as much fun without this bedevilled shroud but the breakneck delivery keeps everything quite highly-strung.

“Star of 666” is every bit as loopy as you’d imagine, but the band lays the corrosive riffs on as thickly as oil. Vampire claws his way through his vocals and some militaristic touches in the drums steady the explosive pace. Oddly, songs such as this have the same grimy, dismal effect of a murky low-budget horror movie – that same determined fixation on recreating something celebrated and obscene, without being much offensive itself. “Rape Me” is a Nirvana cover, which will undoubtedly be sacrilegious to many, but this interpretation does heighten the song’s more emotive aspects with an overtly angry and vengeful approach. This at the cost of conviction, of course, but it has a certain stony power of its own.

“Unholy Eyes” seems less affected, injecting something pained and staggered into its instruments. The sprawling scale of the song works well for the band, downplaying their more cartoonish tendencies and bolstering the track with more substance and seriousness. A sense of triumph follows from the concluding solo, although it can’t quite mask the fact that the gimmick is wearing thin at this stage. The album’s final few songs are as shamelessly likeable as the others, though their emphasis on aural carnage becomes wearying. “Hell on Earth” is heavily programmed and sounds like a twisted circus anthem. The verses are good but the chorus is sloppy, though the delirious solo antics make up for this. “Amanda’s Song” is stormy, using a piano to add a measured contrast to the menacing music. It’s drowned out too much to be really effective but reappears to play the song out, providing a wispy and troubled ending as the dust settles.

Hellbound and Heartless is, largely, music by numbers and nowhere near brusque or edgy enough for the more serious of alternative fans. However, the decoration and pomp perhaps unfairly conceal the fun to be had from Vampires Everywhere’s hedonistic songwriting. As acquired as these tastes may be, they’re well realised, and will play a blinder to anyone so inclined.

SCORE: 7/10
Review written by Grace Duffy

James Shotwell
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One Response to “REVIEW: Vampires Everywhere! – Hellbound and Heartless”

  1. Abraham_Lincoln says:

    These guys are fucking horrible!