FOR THE LOVE OF FILM: Crank: High Voltage

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For The Love Of Film is UTG’s newest creation from film nerd and lover of all movies Justin Proper. Sometimes you need some help to figure out how to enjoy movies, and we are here to help! No longer will you need to fear movie night because your friends have no taste in film. With this column you will be able to love even the worst gems to ever grace the silver screen. 

Action movies are a glorious thing. For an hour and a half you get to escape to a world full of explosions, car chases, and cheesy one liners. Action flicks are great if you are a guy because guys are testosterone fueled superheroes who always get the hot girl. Action flicks are probably great for reasons if you are not a guy, but I cannot really speak to that due to the fact that I am a guy (sorry). In 2006 an action movie came out that made all other action movies look like The Notebook. That movie was Crank and it ended with the “hero” falling out of a helicopter and (maybe) dying. Then three years passed and the world was shocked (get it? electricity!) by its sequel Crank: High Voltage.

Tastes like awesome.

Crank: High Voltage starts out immediately where Crank left off. No exposition, no explanation, no expectations. The main character should have died in the last film (and he more or less did) and he should be dead in this one too. Instead of needing adrenaline to keep himself going like the first movie he has an artificial heart and needs electricity to keep going (thus, High Voltage). If you thought the first Crank movie was absurd you are in for a surprise because the second one takes crazy to a whole new level.

I have seen this movie countless times and this scene still makes no sense.

Despite maintaining a “fresh” rating on rottentomatoes.com, Crank: High Voltage is hated by a lot of people. It has been called “boorish, bigoted, and borderline pornographic” and “shock for shocks sake”. A lot of critics dislike it due to its absurd style and ADD like plot. It is by no means a perfect movie, if it was it would not be part of this column. Even I have some problems with it, but the problems do not outweigh the entertainment value.

Really, it is just a prequel to Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance.

The key to enjoying Crank: High Voltage is to just turn off your critical thinking. Yes, it is massively far fetched and unrealistic. Yes, I know that could not really happen in real life. No, I get it, it does not make sense in the real world. You are right, they would all have been arrested a while ago. It does not matter. Just enjoy it for what it is: the craziest action thrill ride to ever grace the silver screen. It is like playing Grand Theft Auto. No one plays that game because it is realistic, they play it to blow up a city with a bazooka after having a gunfight with a rival gang.

He keeps extra weapons under that sweet ‘stache.

If you are not able to love Crank: High Voltage based on the action alone do not worry, there is more. From a technical standpoint the movie is really impressive. The whole thing was shot on cameras you can afford. none of those fancy expensive professional cameras. The directors wanted to keep the action high and the costs low so they bought cameras they knew they could destroy. Need a crazy shot that would require a fancy camera rig? Why bother with that when you can just throw the cameras because they are so cheap? Need a tracking shot that usually requires a trailer to be pulled behind a car with a jib arm on it? Nah, just have the director strap on some roller blades and skitch behind the vehicles at high speeds.

No, seriously, do that.

Even if you are not impressed by the production methods maybe you will enjoy watching it for the star gazing. By this I mean all the hilarious cameos from top notch actors and musicians. Next time you watch it see if you can spot all these celebrities: David Carradine, Corey Haim, Maynard James Keenan, Danny Lohner, Chester Bennington, Lexington Steele, Ron Jeremy, and Glen Howerton. They are all in there somewhere, and it is a blast to find them.

This is the only time I’ve ever been ok with a member of Linkin Park being on my tv.

Crank: High Voltage is a masterful piece of ridiculous. Every second of it is fast paced and crazy. The directors made it in a really unique way, and it is full of cameos from celebs. There are plenty of reasons to love this movie, and a few reasons to hate it. I hope I have been able to convince you to at least give it another chance, because why not. Next week I will be watching 27 Dresses and trying to find some reasons to not stab my eyes out. Thanks Jacob, I am so glad you suggested it. If you have a movie you think I wont be able to enjoy suggest it in the comments below or hit me up on The Twitters.

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