What The Film!? – Reservoir Dogs

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What The Film?! is a weekly column exclusive to Under The Gun Review that brings to light the plot holes Hollywood hoped you’d never notice. Written by comedy writer Dane Sager, this column shows no mercy to films that try and pull the proverbial wool over our eyes.

If you know a film with major plot holes that you feel needs to be exposed, tell us! Email utgjames@gmail.com with the subject “What The Film” and we’ll try to get your suggestion featured on the site.

Hello, readers! This week, we have good news and bad news; the bad news is that I was scheduled every single day to wait tables, the good news is that I have caught the flu and am home alone with a similarly ill mastiff mix/mutt. Together, we will share this couch & comforters and proceed to watch Netflix together. Ladies and gentlemen, I have time to do this week’s What The Film!? That’s not the only good news, since I am sick with the flu, I decided to make the best of this situation and do a movie I truly love. 1992’s Reservoir Dogs.

How much of this am I supposed to drink? All of it? I think all of it.

Reservoir Dogs is the directorial debut of every college kid’s favorite director Quentin Tarantino. It is his most simple and straight forward movie he’s ever made, largely taking place in an old warehouse. It’s about a group of criminals recovering from a heist gone sour as they try to figure out who in the group was an undercover police officer. It could even work as a stage play and it would still be gripping and well done. To this date, Reservoir Dogs and Memento tend to be tied for my favorite movie. Occasionally one takes the lead or switches places with another, but it’s still more or less always at the top of my list.

The movie was made for just over a million dollars, a budget that was spent primarily on its superb soundtrack and its cast (fun fact: James Woods was offered a role in the movie, but his then agent shot it down without even mentioning it to him). The low budget meant that the heist that they’re all recovering from was never shot or not put in the movie, which may disappoint some viewers, but makes the movie better for it because the movie is about more than the heist, it’s about the characters.

James Woods is one of my favorite actors, so I often wonder how he’d be in this role and if I drank too much cough syrup but it’s okay I can feel my organs through my skin and they said they’d be cool to drive if the tennis ball breaks.

There was an episode of The Office where the first half of the episode was setting up that no one could get a hold of Michael. They had to explain it with reasons why he wouldn’t be by land lines, his phone being dead, no internet access, there was so much they had to do to explain the simple premise that no one could reach him. A lot of old movies and TV shows have weird moments that don’t make sense with today’s technology, and does Reservoir Dogs have that weird aging process? No. It’s still a great crime movie that shows its age only though the then modern cars of the early nineties.

That being said, the cast is what really sticks out in this movie. They all bring their characters to life in a way that’s both believable and engaging. The late Chris Penn, being one of the closest things to a villain in this movie, plays his role with a Nicolas Cage level of conviction, giving it his all and Harvey Keitel’s protection over Tim Roth’s character gives it almost a father/son type bond that sells their relationship. Michael Madsen steals every scene he’s in with an intensity that is equal to the amount his face is swirling, which ultimately is distracting,

It is also weird that he keeps barking like DMX and crying my name

Even though I purchased this DVD back in 2004, I’m surprised it was 3D! I don’t even own a 3D TV, but it was phenominally done. I don’t even remember the scene, but it really felt like I was walking down the street in my underwear to go to a pharmacy and buy more cough syrup. I don’t think I’ve ever had this level of immersion in a movie before in any medium. Hell, my feet are all cut up from being barefoot! That’s a true 3D experience and Clash of the Titans can suck it!

I saw Great Grandma for the first time in years but she had broccoli for hair.

Now Reservoir Dogs came out over twenty years ago now, and it has aged very well. It’s holding firm at the top my favorite movie list and maybe it was a little weird when it made my TV bleed that weird GAK toy Nickelodeon sold back in the 1990s, but it’s problem isn’t in it’s weirdness, it’s problems are facets to the faucets where they won’t let us eat lettuce and candy is always green. But before the door that opens on my story, that would surprise me, if it opens, it will be I, it will be the silence, where I am, I don’t know, I’ll never know, in the silence you don’t know, you must go on, I can’t go on, I’ll go on.

It’s about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The entire movie. It’s a metaphor for big dicks.

Dane once stabbed a hole in the whole and alliteration and I need scissors! Sixty-One! Follow Tumblr and Twitter maybes?


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