January 25th, 2013 
Justin Proper 
Film: Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Writer: Tommy Wirkola, D.W. Harper
Dark fairy tale reboots seem to be the new craze for movies. With the success of films like Red Riding Hood and Snow White And The Huntsman it is no surprise that Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters was made. Turning these children’s stories into gritty adult stories has proven to be financially sound despite all these films being met with poor reviews. Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters is no different.
This film starts with the classic plot of the fairy tale (Hansel and Gretel nearly being killed by a witch in a house made of candy) and then flashes forward to the kids all grown up. Now the siblings go from town to town hunting witches for money with crossbows and guns. The town they show up in has had 11 children go missing and it is up to Hansel and Gretel to find them.
Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters is really just a big budget B-movie with a decent cast. Unfortunately it seems that the stars forgot how to act. Jeremy Renner is stiff, wooden, and seems to only have one pose in the whole movie. Oh, and his character has diabetes because he was forced to eat a bunch of candy when he was a kid. Yeah, diabetes. The only character that seemed to be trying was Peter Stormare but he was not in enough of the film for it to really matter.
The movie was not a complete waste of time, however. It has an R rating and it definitely earned it. The violence and witch killing is brutal. At one point a man gets ripped in to five pieces by some trees onscreen. It is definitely not a movie for the squeamish and there will be tons of body parts flying at you in the post production 3D. The best way to sum up this film is to compare it to a video game: plenty of action and gore with subpar plot and acting.
I do not think it would be unwise to say that Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters will top the box office this weekend. It was a mediocre movie that seemed like a cross between Van Helsing and Resident Evil. If you really want to go watch a new release there are far worse choices than this film, but I would not go seeking it out if you are not already planning on going to the movies.
SCORE: C-
Review written by: Justin Proper
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