March 29th, 2013 
Dane Sager 
Film: The Host
Director: Andrew Niccols
Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Diane Kruger, William Hurt
I want you to do a thought experiment. I want you to imagine The Host without any connection to Stephenie Meyer. Pretend she had nothing to do with it, because without that connection the movie actually sounds pretty great.
The Host is a science fiction movie about a parasitic alien invasion written and directed by Andrew Niccols, the man behind Gattaca, Lord Of War, and The Truman Show. Its cast includes Saoirse Ronan (who you may know from The Lovely Bones or Hanna), William Hurt (who you’d know from Dark City, A History Of Violence, The Incredible Hulk, and others), and Diane Kruger (Inglorious Basterds, National Treasure). This is the reason I saw this movie. I saw its potential and accepted it, knowing it was based on a Stephanie Meyer book I put down after ten pages because it pissed me off.
Unfortunately, the movie doesn’t live up to its potential. The takes place in the not-too-distant future where the majority of humanity has been turned into hosts for the invaded aliens. Almost all of humanity has been taken over by these aliens (that look like fiber-optic-koosh balls) and the very few remaining uninfected live in hiding. Cool so far, yes?
Our protagonist is Melanie, a young girl who has her body taken control of by an alien we know as Wanderer (and later Wanda). Unlike most people who get infected, Melanie still has some vague control over her body and her thoughts are heard by Wanderer. The conversations between Wanda and Melanie are done with Wanda (who has control over the body) speaking out loud while Melanie talks through a voice over with an echo effect not unlike those toy microphones that have springs in them. While this conflict could be executed very well in a book, in a movie it comes off as very corny. At times there are moments where Melanie briefly fights with Wanda over control of her body and there’s something about it that feels very familiar. Then you realize that you saw these same fights in Me, Myself, & Irene. These elements do not work in a movie without being comedic and are played as being serious.
Wanda’s prior planet she helped invade was an ocean planet called “See Weed”. Not Sea Weed. See Weed.
If you’ve seen Twilight (and with the franchise making over three billion dollars worldwide, I assume you have) then you know what you’re in for. The characters are one dimensional, the pacing is poor (fans of the book have complained it felt rushed, despite the movie feeling two hours longer than it is), character’s motivations seem to change at random, and the dialogue is very poor. I understand that a lot of people who write reviews use exaggeration for comedic effect to emphasize a point (myself included), but I insist I’m being one-hundred-percent honest here when I tell you this with absolutely no hyperbole: the dialogue in this movie is just as bad as Birdemic‘s. However there’s one thing this movie missed that The Twilight Saga reeked of: the misogyny. This movie doesn’t play up the strange values ingrained in Meyer’s magnum opus and is better because of it.
Not to say that this movie is good, because it isn’t. Wanda feels bad for humans and helps Melanie find her family, which again could be executed well in a book, it doesn’t work here. We’re supposed to root for Melanie, when her parasite is the better character. Wanda shows more humanity and compassion towards anyone else in the movie while Melanie’s echo-y voice complains about everything the entire time.
Earlier in the day I accidentally purchased tickets online for the wrong theater, causing me to have to purchase another set of tickets that night at the theater I went to. Ultimately this movie cost me fifty dollars for me and my girlfriend to see. Could the now-exorbitant price to see this movie bias me against it? It’s possible, although I’m confident I wouldn’t have liked this movie had I seen it for free. While there are some shots and visuals that are classic Andrew Niccols, those few sparks and hints of his prior greatness doesn’t make me wish I had just spent that money on Bioshock: Infinite instead.
Also, I lied about the lack of misogyny. The very first moment Wanda feels like humanity is worth saving is when she has a flash back to the time a complete stranger forced himself on Melanie. This is what turned her into a good guy, seeing Melanie’s memory of the time she was violated by a stranger.
Score: D-
Review by Dane Sager
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