Artist: The Wanted
Track: “Walks Like Rihanna”
Album: TBA

2012 brought the resurrection of boy bands and their ability to turn teen girls into deafening scream factories to the television sets, internet browsers, and social media feeds of pretty much everyone on the planet. Even if you’re obsessed with metal and live in a small farming community in South Dakota surrounded by locally-owned businesses and the occasional gas station, there is absolutely zero chance you have made it to this point without hearing the music of, or at least the name of one of the following groups: The Wanted, One Direction, Big Time Rush. These three pop groups have been quickly taking over the world since 2010, and in the last year their fame has skyrocketed to heights so extreme older boy bands like 98 Degrees have since reunited and resumed touring. This is big, if not the biggest business for pop music right now, and just last night a new single hit the internet that will soon be heard blasting from every iphone, ipad, Samsung Galaxy, teen driven vehicle, mall food court, and top 40 radio station from here Japan. There’s only one problem: It’s not that great.

Pop music is, like every genre, extremely subjective. That said, the types of people attracted to pop music is as varied as can be. Three things that connects all these people, however, are that they love a catchy hook with easy to remember lyrics, they want a beat worth dancing to, and they prefer that songs more or less exude positivity. The Wanted’s new single, “Walks Like Rihanna,” succeeds on all three of these levels to varying degrees, but it excels at none of them and ultimately leaves listeners feeling unfulfilled.

Opening with “Have you seen that girl’ / have you seen her,” the latest from The Wanted is built on a foundation of dance-worthy, but ultimately as simplistic as can be instrumentation. The beat packs a steady 1-2 punch, but the accompanying chord progression and high-gloss synth waves do little to excite the ears. That is, until the bridge kicks in. With staccato bass set to lyrics about hearts going “boom, boom, boom,” the track creates a moment of listener engagement that makes you want to move. You want to clap, or sing, or stomp along, but as soon as you get into motion you realize the track has begun to fade out, and your left to dance to whatever plays next.

Lyrically speaking, “Walks Like Rihanna” is relatively par for the course in terms of boy bands. There is one girl that a group of twenty-somethings take turns singing about until the chorus hits and their ever-so-studio-perfected harmony hits just in times to make knees weak with a combination of croon and compliments. Much like last year’s runaway One Direction hit “What Makes You Beautiful,” the song aims to win over the ladies with lines about the girl’s unending beauty. The difference between these songs, however, is where things get a bit weird. “What Makes You Beautiful” is a song that endlessly compliments a girl on her beauty and then insists that her beauty is real whether or not she sees it herself, but in this song the guys flat out say the girl lacks talents outside of physical beauty. She cannot sing, she cannot dance, but she can walk like Rihanna (whatever that means), so clearly she is a desirable person that other people should essentially worship. Further, she should be happy with the way she’s viewed by others because regardless of whatever she lacks as a person in terms of character, focus, or goals is completely overlooked as soon as someone sees how she can walk like Rihanna.

I’m not foolish enough to believe the guys in The Wanted record songs like “Walks Like Rihanna” hoping that dudes likes me think what they do is in any way cool or hip. Their music exists in a realm where musicianship and building a career takes a backseat to repetition and how many times you can play something in rotation before people get annoyed with it, and that is perfectly fine. Music is a business and their business is booming just the way it is. Their fans will likely latch onto this song and buy it instantly, many without giving more than a single listen (if that), but I find it a stretch to believe they will support it at radio (and beyond) with the same intensity as the group’s previous singles. Pop music is great because it carries a care-free spirit of fun that is accessible by essentially anyone with ears. Almost everyone I know listens to pop music, and even those who generally don’t care for it can find a song every once in awhile that they enjoy. That said, there is nothing special, memorable, or really that enjoyable about “Walks Like Rihanna.” It’s not the kind of song you want to hear again and again, but more of a flash in the pan track that makes an already relatively shameless group look more than ever like they’re cashing in on a fad. For a group who delivered the smash “Glad You Came,” the guys in The Wanted have seriously taken a step back in terms of sound and direction. Their next album will offer something that can top the charts, of that I am sure, but I just don’t see “Walks Like Rihanna” being the hit their label and backers hope.

On a side note, is encouraging young girls to mimic the behavior of Rihanna really that great of an idea? She has tons of hits and has made a lot of money, but to act like her decision making skills are always top notch would be tell yourself a bold faced lie. No one needs a teen girl, or even a woman in her twenties (or older), spending their free time trying to learn how a coke-loving pop vocalist with a interest in men who treat her poorly walks. There are better things to spend your time on, and there are certainly better songs to play.

Review Written by: James Shotwell

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James Shotwell

James Shotwell is the founder of Under The Gun Review. He loves writing about music and movies almost as much as he loves his two fat cats. He's also the co-founder of Antique Records and the Marketing Coordinator for Haulix. You should probably follow him on Twitter.

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