MOVIE REVIEW: Machete Kills

Film: Machete Kills
Starring: Danny Trejo
Directed by: Robert Rodriguez

When Robert Rodriguez originally announced plans to turn his Grind House faux trailer for Machete into an actual film many wondered if the final product would ever see the light of day. It did, and it surprisingly turned out to be a fantastic exercise in exploitation and escapism riddled with callbacks to the heyday of b-moviemaking. Machete Kills was teased when the film was released, and again many wrote it off as a joke, but here we are a handful of years later and Rodriguez has again made the ridiculous a reality.

Opening in a desert near the US/Mexico border, Machete Kills finds our hero joined by his love (Jessica Alba) at the scene of a major drug deal. Machete doesn’t do drugs, of course, but their attempts to thwart whatever is happening are interrupted by an out outside gang of bad guys who – for the sake of keeping this spoiler free – do something to that leaves Machete for hungry for revenge. The president (Charlie Sheen aka Carlos Estevez) soon calls on him with an offer to help the US he cannot refuse, and within fifteen minutes the film’s main storyline about stopping a terrorist threat in the heart of Mexico is well underway. Add a side story involving a pissed-off bordello owner (Sophia Vergara), as well as a revolutionary with split-personality disorder (Demian Bichir) and by the half hour mark you’re completely entrenched in the (completely ludicrous) universe of Machete.

As soon as the bullets begin to fly in Machete Kills the film’s biggest flaw reveals itself: Too much bad CGI. The original Machete offered a throwback to 70s films that included the use of fake blood and props, but Machete Kills throws this notion to the wind and chooses instead to inundate you with poorly rendered blood spurts and ‘not really happening’ action sequences that go beyond suspension of belief and directly into ‘give me a freaking break.’ One scene in particular, in which Machete is forced to escape the bad guys via boat, is such a digital mess I’m not sure SyFy would put it on air.

Still, for those able to see past the poor digital effects there is enough fun in Machete Kills to keep you amused throughout its nearly 100-minute runtime. Danny Trejo is a living icon, and for whatever reason the universe has given him an intangible ‘it’ factor that pulls you into even the most mediocre of scripts (which this most certainly is). The supporting cast helps as well, thanks in no small part to the character known as ‘The Chameleon,’ who is played by at least three separate-yet-notable names throughout the film.

Machete struck movie gold in a way that only happens once in a great while. The decision to make a sequel was an obvious one, but I fear it was never possible for Rodriguez and crew to top their original efforts. Where Machete walked a fine line between weird and fun that somehow worked, Machete Kills flies off the rails early on and never thinks twice about how disconnected it is from the audience. The body count rises, as do the innuendos, but the whole process just feels thrown together without giving much, if any care or heart. It’s not cheesy or ‘so bad it’s good,’ it’s just forgettable, and for a franchise as wacky as this that is a major letdown.

Score: C-

Review written by: James Shotwell (Follow him on Twitter)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO1WwOQowlg

James Shotwell
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