How far we’ve come. It’s 2014 and the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film appears to be a far cry from the cartoon which ran between 1987 and 1996. Being a product of 1991, my pillow cases and toy-boxes have always been littered with the color-coded reptilians, so any TMNT news seems to be good news.

This week, Atlantic Records unveiled the newest film’s theme song, entitled “Shell Shocked.” The electronically produced tune was done by Kill The Noise & Madsonik and features Juicy J, Wiz Khalifa, and Ty Dolla $ign.

The song is cool, I guess. What am I saying? To be honest, it just doesn’t make sense to me. I understand keeping up with pop-culture and all, but this tune just didn’t do it for me.

In all TMNT related songs’ defense, I think HORSE the Band did a fairly good job on their Pizza EP and it deserves some recognition. Why don’t you check out this post and decide which one you’d go with as the theme once it hits the big screens?

“Nobody do it better, all my brothers tryna get some cheddar
We all want our cut like the Shredder
Me and my bros come together for the dough
Bought the orange Lamborghini, call it Michelangelo
With the nunchucks doors and I’m pullin’ up slow
When we fall up in the party, they know anything goes
Check my rolex they say I’m the man of the hour
All this green in my pockets, you can call it turtle power”

“Don’t do it Michaelangelo!”
“It’s no use Leonardo, don’t try talking me out of it.”
“You don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for!”
“A turtles gotta do what a turtles gotta do…”
“Please Michaelangelo, don’t go for pizza!”

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Derek Scancarelli

Derek Scancarelli is a feature writer, interviewer, videographer, photographer, radio-er and more. In 2015, he received his MA in Journalism in New York City. In addition to Under The Gun Review, Derek has worked with Noisey (VICE), Alternative Press, New Noise Magazine and many more. He also pushes some buttons at SiriusXM.

Comedian Jim Norton once called him a serial killer on national radio. Enjoy the internet with him on Twitter.

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