MOVIE REVIEW: No One Wins In ‘Cowboys Vs Dinosaurs’

Film: Cowboys Vs Dinosaurs
Starring: Eric Roberts, Vernon Wells
Directed by: Ari Novak

In a world where films about people who drive cars through high rise hotels in Dubai can become the fourth highest grossing film in the world, it’s really not that shocking a film called Cowboys Vs Dinosaurs has come into existence. It’s a full-length feature film made with real money and features real actors (even Eric Roberts), but sadly it’s not the second coming of low budget creature features I thought it might be.

Every great creature feature begins with a moment of human stupidity. Sometimes it’s mixing the wrong chemicals, while other times it’s forgetting to lock every cage at the animal testing facility. Cowboys Vs. Dinosaurs begins with a mining explosion that just so happens to release a number of hungry dinosaurs that were long thought to be extinct. Their design is nothing near the world of Jurassic Park, but they usually look good enough to not come across as a complete joke. That job is left to the actors, the dialogue provided by the underwhelming script, and just about every plot point other than those relating directly to the title of the film.

The hero, for lack of a better word, is a disgraced cowboy who recently returned to Livingston in hopes of making amends with his ex-lover. This is all far too complicated for a film whose entire premise can be summarized in two and a half words, but the film spends about forty of its eighty-ish minute runtime trying to convince you otherwise. There’s even a love triangle, which involves the cowboy and his ex, as well as the sheriff. None of this really matters once the dinosaurs appear, but again it takes close to an hour for that to happen on a widespread scale.

Cowboys Vs Dinosaurs only really finds its footing when it reaches the battle between man and beast that gives the film its name. It may take nearly an hour for that encounter to really take off, but once it does viewers are treated to the kind of over-the-top insanity only low budget science fiction films can provide. If that level of fun had been present throughout the preceding two acts then there would be a lot more to love about this title. As is, the action present is just enough to make the film palatable.

You can find car chases in just about any action film, but modern day cowboys shooting propane tanks while fleeing from modified (and somewhat poorly animated) velociraptors is something that may only ever happen once in all of cinema. That reason alone will be enough for some to seek out Cowboys Vs Dinosaurs, but if that is not the case for you than I suggest you look elsewhere for your entertainment. There are low budget creature features everyone can enjoy, and most of that material eventually finds its way to the SyFy channel, but then films like this appear and it’s clear from scene one that they exist to satisfy a very niche audience of movie addicts with unquenchable thirsts for entertainment. This is a film for them, and I don’t even know if they will make it through without skipping to the third act.

GRADE: D+

Review written by James Shotwell

James Shotwell
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