July 9th, 2015 
James Shotwell 
Film: Minions
Starring: Pierre Coffin, Sandra Bullock
Directed by: Pierre Coffin, Kyle Balda
Two years after Despicable Me 2 became one of the biggest animated films ever, Universal is trying to maximize franchise revenue with the funny, yet emotionally empty prequel, Minions.
Yes, the tiny yellow creatures that won over the hearts of children everywhere while simultaneously annoying parents with their unique, Sims-like language have been given their own adventure, and it takes place several years before the events of the first Despicable Me film. In fact, the story actually begins at the dawn of time, when Minions evolved into land-dwelling creatures in search of a villain to serve. They found many evil bosses as the years carried on, but due to one reason or another–usually Minion-related error–the Minions would eventually find themselves alone once more.
Near the beginning of Minions, all hope seems lost. Having long been separated from the last master, the Minions are dwelling in a largely uninhabitable tundra far away from society. They lack purpose, and as a result their lives have become increasingly mundane, which is what leads Kevin, the film’s main protagonist for lack of a better term, to embark on a journey in search of a new master his people can serve. At his side are two incredibly unique Minions–Stuart and Bob–who also yearn to help their community thrive.
Minions, for the most part, behave like sheep. They follow whomever they believe to be the leader, and they almost never speak out of line. The idea of a hive mentality is very much exemplified in their behavior, but for whatever reason Kevin, Stuart and Bob are an exception to this rule. They are all independent thinkers, with ideas and dreams entirely unique to their own personalities, but we are never given much explanation for why this is the case. To be fair, no one in the film questions it, but maybe they should.
As the adventure gets underway, Kevin, Stuart and Bob run amok through city streets, homes and the like. The trio cause cute chaos everywhere they go, including the beautifully-imagined Villain Con, which leads the trio to discover a mysterious woman who claims to be the most evil villain in the world. Her master plan is to become the queen of England, and as you can probably guess it’s the Minions who are hired to help accomplish that task. What she doesn’t realize before doing so is that, just like Gru, she has vastly underestimated the tiny yellow creatures who now believe they live to serve her every need.
As Minions fumbles a transition from a film about seeking a master to one about learning to control one’s own destiny, it’s hard to ignore the fact that nearly an hour has passed and there is not a single thing on screen you have much, if any, reason to care about. Everyone knows the Minions eventually meet Gru, so there is never a question as to whether or not things will work out with their new master. There is also never a doubt the trio we follow will eventually reconnect with the rest of their community because, as we just mentioned, everyone knows what comes immediately following the events in this film. As a result, there is almost literally nothing on the line in this picture, and that forces the narrative to rely on its comedic elements to carry you to the closing credits. For some, that may be enough, but that won’t be the case for everyone.
Now I’m not saying Minions is by any means bad. As an effort in pure animated escapism released at the height of summer its arguably better than expected, but without the emotional center needed to give people a reason to feel engaged with the narrative there is little reason to ever wish to go on this adventure again. That is just a bit tragic, as the other films in which these characters have appeared did such an incredible job of making you feel for everyone onscreen, including the despicable Gru. That type of magic is nowhere to be found in this film, and its absence is felt throughout.
Though kids will no doubt leave the theater demanding toys and sequels, it’s hard to imagine adults finding anything worth committing to memory in Minions. It’s fun while it lasts, but as soon as the credits roll you will be hard pressed to recall a single thing that transpired on screen. That’s okay though, because we all know what happens next, and those adventures are far more entertaining.
GRADE: C+
Review written by James Shotwell Follow @utgjames
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