October 21st, 2011 
James Shotwell 
Under The Gun is continuing our efforts to bring you more original and engaging content with REASONABLE REMAKES. Written by film-nerd Justin Proper, this column aims to highlight Hollywood’s forgotten gems and spark debate.
You see, we’ve grown tired of Hollywood rehashing ideas we’re old enough to remember. Why remake something the majority of the planet still remembers and loves deeply when there are tons of films that deserve a chance to be as great as modern technology and skill can make them? If you agree, this column is for you.
Sometimes there’s nothing more relaxing than coming home from a long day, kicking back, and watching a campy horror movie for laughs. Unfortunately that wasn’t what happened when I watched Popcorn. This early 90’s “horror” flick sounded great and started fun and ridiculous but just seemed to drag on until any joy I had from watching it was gutted out of me like a character from a good horror movie it was trying so hard to be. The worst part was the movie had such a cool concept that I was truly let down when it failed to deliver, but that is also why Popcorn would be perfect for a remake.
Popcorn is about a film class that puts on an old school horror movie night at a theater where they show a few horror movies that had gimmicks (3D, Smell-o-vision, shocking seats). Everything is going great until they start to get murdered off during the film festival in ways related to the movies (a giant fake mosquito ends up killing the guy running it during the showing of “Mosquito”). This is all fine and funny until they start getting in to the twist in the plot and start ripping off great slasher killers of the 80’s. The killer ends up feeling like a weak mix of Freddy Kruger and Leatherface, and the reveal of who it was the whole time is pretty weak (I wont ruin it for you in case you actually want to sit through the movie too). Also, one of the girls in the class (I guess she’s the main character) also may or may not be involved with the supposed killer, who may be a leader of a film cult from the 60’s that murdered his family. Oh, and of course there’s a romantic subplot so the male love interest can come save the day at the end.
Original theatrical poster
So if I didn’t like this movie so much why should it get remade? I absolutely love the idea of film students holding a film festival that ends up in a bloodbath. The description of Popcorn on Netflix really gave me hope, and when the movie let me down I did what everyone does in that situation: bitch about it on the internet. The difference is I get to tell you how the movie should have happened by saying it should be a remake and you guys love hearing about it. Instead of an old school film festival lets turn it in to an indie horror movie festival. These are huge right now, and take place all over the country. We can have clips of horror movies that are being shown to really up the gore and shock value (how fun would it be to just show awesome kill scenes with completely no context?) which will play well with today’s audiences. The coup de grace of it all could be that the killer has been filming the murders as they happen and could show them at the end of the festival, leading to the last kill projected on the screen via a live feed from a room where he’s been torturing someone. Half the movie could be a cool documentary/found footage style from the killer’s perspective as he films all of his murders, which is really popular and adds a lot of tension.
As for a director I really would like to see Eli Roth take on a more traditional slasher type movie, and this would be a great opportunity for that. I really liked his work on Hostel 2, I felt that it was directed quite well. That movie had great mood and some really creative deaths. This would fit really well in to a Popcorn remake. We know the killing would be graphic and unique, and Roth has just the right touch of humor in his movies so lighten the dark mood when appropriate. Plus, he would do a great job creating the clips of the indie horror films from the festival.
Casting isn’t quite as important for a movie like this (insert cast from any recent horror movie here) but there are a couple roles where I had specific actors in mind. For the goofy film professor I think that John Cusack would be a perfect fit. He’s a great comedy actor (Hot Tub Time Machine) and we know he can be serious if he needs to (no, not 2012). He’d work really well as a professor for a film class (trust me, I’ve taken enough film classes to know the type) and would bring some attention to the movie. The only other role I really cared about was the female lead, which should be played by Kat Dennings. She’s the right age, has some great sarcastic snark (Thor, 2 Broke Girls) and has a similar look to the original actress (who isn’t important enough for me to name here). Also, she’s hot.
So what if the original Popcorn wasn’t perfect (well, ok, pretty bad), it had a good concept and led to me writing this entertaining article. Even bad movies (and we’re not talking so bad it’s good here, this one was just bad) can have a positive effect somewhere down the road. Hollywood is running out of ideas (we get it, the house is haunted) so why not look back to some flops for some ideas to make new and fresh? It just might be the kick we need to get out of this cliche filled, predictable horror rut that is plaguing theaters now. Sound off in the comments if you agree, and definitely use caps lock if you disagree, that way I know you’re yelling in nerd rage. Next week we’ll close out Horror Month, so this is your last chance to leave me suggestions for horror films you’d like to see remade.
Written by: Justin Proper
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