Sex, Drugs, And Bubblegum Pop (Week 41)


Sex, Drugs, And Bubblegum Pop is the most outlandish column on UTG. Written by Mr. Jayce, vocalist for Secret Secret Dino Club and all-round funny guy, this column isn’t as much about the music as it is the experiences people in the music industry have.

WARNING: This column does and will continue to contain content some readers may find offensive. If you don’t have a sense of humor, this column is probably not for you.

Lately there seems to be a trend in laziness in bands. There are two different types of laziness. I will discuss both of them.

The first type of lazy band, is the type of band with a lot of their parent’s money. Rather than work for anything, they try to buy their way into being a popular band. Not only are they buying on to tours, buying ads, being on a tour bus for their first tour, fake playing their instruments on stage, but they are trying to buy their own songs! Being a songwriter, this is so offensive to me. I’ll explain how writing a song for another artist is supposed to happen.

When artists write with other writers, it’s usually set up through their management about a month in advance. The writing members of the band come and share their ideas with a writer and hopefully the writers helps to mold their song into something special. A lot of times it works, but sometimes it doesn’t. Almost always this work is done on spec. A writer does not get paid for his work, only if the song is successful or if they decide to sell his production. There is no selling of songs happening. If I write a song, it will always be my song no matter who sings it. The way I get money is not through selling the song to an artist, but through royalties while that artist is working the song.

With co-writing becoming more of the standard now even in the independent music scene, more people who don’t write their own songs are popping out of the woodwork trying to just buy songs. If you bought on a tour and even bought your own songs, what have you earned at all? Co-writing is a privilege you should earn when you have written enough songs where you feel like you need to take the next step as an artist. Not the first step. I love writing with other artists, and there should be no shame in your band co-writing. Just spend the time to figure out who you are and gain an identity before you try to do it.

The other kind of lazy band that annoys me is the broke, begging band. Whenever there is an issue, they ask for donations or start a kick starter. Kick starter should be used to get an idea funded that you possibly couldn’t work for to fund. Not to pay for your brakes to be fixed. I have had so many van troubles and even had my van smashed and lost all of my equipment. Did I cry about it and ask fans to donate me money? No. It’s not their responsibility to pay for my van or my equipment. I would never feel right taking people’s money for something that wasn’t a product. It’s just using people. If something goes wrong, work hard to get back on your feet. Don’t beg and grovel like a pathetic homeless person.

-Mr. Jayce

James Shotwell

James Shotwell is the founder of Under The Gun Review. He loves writing about music and movies almost as much as he loves his two fat cats. He's also the co-founder of Antique Records and the Marketing Coordinator for Haulix. You should probably follow him on Twitter.

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