Film: Blended
Directed by: Frank Coraci
Starring: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore

I had hope walking into Blended. The reteaming of Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, and Frank Coraci (who also directed The Wedding Singer) gave me hope that we might see a return to form after so many failed Sandler outings. Unfortunately, not only did I not laugh heartily once during the film’s 117 minute running time but I cowered into my sweatshirt. I wanted this amalgam of Sandler film career references, off-colored jokes, muddled family messages, and misrepresentation of an entire country to end.

Blended is the third joint effort between Sandler and Barrymore. Jim (Sandler), dedicated father and Dick’s Sporting Goods manager, still reeling from the death of his wife decides to try the game of love again. Lauren (Barrymore), proud mother and divorcee, is hooked up on a blind date with Jim at Hooters and naturally, as is with every Sandler film, something goes awry to some comedic degree. After Lauren’s coworker Jen (Wendi McLendon-Covery) and her lover (who is coincidentally Jim’s boss) call off a romantic and family oriented vacation to Africa, Jim buys the vacation off of them. Unfortunately though, so does Lauren. The vacation quickly turns from non-romantic to loving as Jim and Lauren learn to rise above their shortcomings and love each other.

There are close to no glimmers of originality and enjoyment in this appallingly horrendous attempt at comedic enlightenment. The only slight comedic huffs instigated from me were from the multiple references to 50 First Dates and The Wedding Singer littered throughout the painfully long first, second, and third acts. But that goes to show you that Sandler and Barrymore are trying to build off of the goodwill they created with those aforementioned films. Unfortunately though, Sandler has created way too many duds in the form of The Longest Yard, You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, Grown Ups 1&2, Just Go With It, and Jack and Jill since then. Barrymore has kept much more afloat in terms of performance quality especially with her Golden Globe winning turn in 2010’s Grey Gardens.

Now, when I watch a comedy, the humor it presents plays a huge role in how I am going to either like it/criticize it. The fact of the matter is that Blended makes a joke out of everything from rhinos in coitus and death by cancer. You know that personal friend that everyone has that always has to take a joke to the next level, which causes uneasiness and for the most part comes off lowbrow and off-colored? Yeah, that friend must be the one who wrote Blended. The only humor that came off as sort of digestible was the Sandler brand of unhinged raunchy humor. A couple of sequences where a character was enamored with his wife’s breasts during a massage session may have felt out of place in a mostly safe family comedy but it produced a few chuckles.

Adam Sandler with his overwrought loud yelping seemed desperate to get laughs out of the audience. What was once an inspired (albeit a dumb one) physical way to trigger guffaws is now just archival and boring. Barrymore seems uninspired as she drags her way through the predictable material given to her. Teenage Disney star Bella Thorne, who plays Jim’s daughter Hilary, plays the voice of reason when it comes to her father’s constant questioning of if he should be with Lauren or not. She makes a good argument that she has some talent even with the material given but her role’s plot-turning dialogue doesn’t come until really late in the game.

Terry Crews, the big funnyman from things like The Expendables, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Bridesmaids, and Get Smart is reduced to the least funny role in the film. He plays the vacation resort’s resident singer and source of entertainment. His character Nickens is the man that pops up (with a crew in tow) at every inopportune or heartfelt moment in the film to try to inject comedy in an otherwise serious situation. He flexes his giant pectoral muscles and slaps on a blatantly racist African accent in a sad attempt to bring comedic brevity to Blended. Instead of being funny, his part in the film is unrelenting, like spitting in the face of the audience who according to the filmmakers must be leeches that need foolish jokes at every juncture.

What is the point of Blended, though? It’s hard to tell since its message of family togetherness and acceptance is often contradicted. One scene we will have one of Jim’s daughters being accepted for her tomboyish ways and then the next she will transform into a model of beauty to impress a boy. I didn’t know a girl had to have makeup, a nice dress, and hair extensions to feel pretty/get the other sex’s attention. Thanks for that Blended; you really taught the audience a valuable lesson here.

What Blended also taught me is that Africa is solely a vacation spot. You’re right, there is no genocide, sickness, or terrorism happening in that country. It is solely just a spot where you can see rhinos hump, giraffes frolic, ride ostriches, but most of all, fall in love. How cute, I mean how thoroughly sickening. Blended isn’t even a shadow on Sandler’s better efforts, it makes the argument that he never had talent in the first place.

Score: F

Written by: Sam Cohen

• Author
• Recent Posts

Sam Cohen

Sam Cohen is that guy you can't have a conversation with without bringing up Michael Mann. He is also incapable of separating himself from his teenage angst (looking at you, Yellowcard). Read on as he tries to formulate words about movies!

Latest posts by Sam Cohen (see all)

• MOVIE REVIEW: ‘Popstar’ has at least a few hits - June 3, 2016
• MOVIE REVIEW: ‘Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising’ is the rare sequel that tries - May 21, 2016
• MOVIE REVIEW: ‘The Nice Guys’ is a loopy, drunk masterpiece - May 20, 2016