Dot Dot Curve :) – Till The Wheels Fall Off

2211257Artist: Dot Dot Curve :)
Album: Till The Wheels Fall Off
Genre: Crunkcore
Label: Standby

Back in November, we brought you our views on this then little known group called Brokencyde. Since then, that review has become our most popular topic, but in addition, the group has exploded onto the music scene. Everywhere, much to my disapproval, people are becoming fans of this new genre they call “crunkcore.” In reality, it’s [generally] a bunch of kids from the suburbs who can’t sing or play instruments, but want to be perverse and scream to vocoder and Garageband loops. However, since it’s a craze, labels have jumped on to get whatever money they can out of this fad and Standby Records picked up Indiana native Dot Dot Curve :) [get it?] and will soon re-release his album, Till The Wheels Fall Off.

Now, normally we’d do an in depth look at the various tracks on the record, but not with this travesty to music. I thought between Brokencyde and Jeffree Star’s EPs that we’d heard the bottom of the musical barrel, but I was sooo wrong. To praise any aspect of Dot Dot Cuve :) would be the equivalent of spitting in John Lennon’s face. If this is the future of music may I please get off the bus now? Over the course of 13 tracks, our one man show [who goes by the name “Spanky”] takes simplistic Garageband and/or protool loops with vocoder and other voice modulation software to be as redundant, perverse, and all round offensive as possible. “Yea, I’m The Sex,” for example, finds Spanky referring to himself as, what else, the sex. In fact, he claims to be “the sex” about 75 times throughout the course of the record and that’s when you can decipher what is being said. Spanky has a nasty habit of adding completely pointless screams to nearly every 30 sec. interval of the record with lyrics that, if you can even make them out, make zero sense.

Now, I know what you’re thinking [that is, if you’ve never listened to this “act” before] and yes, we did give this album multiple tries. If one were to cruise my for the past few weeks, it may seem I’m quite the fan of at least the first 4 tracks on this record, but that would only be due to the fact that it’s the furthest I could get in a single sitting. Every track has a simplistic beat, discussion of his “freakish [aka typical Hot Topic shopping teen]” outfit and how he is either the best or one not to mess with or around. There’s not a single ounce of intelligent song writing or album structure to be found and yet he sold literally thousands of copies of this record before signing. Why?

There is no need to continue because I’ll only repeat and frustrate myself. Listen, using synth and vocoder can be done tastefully [Owl City for example], but this wave of “crunkcore” and kids getting big off of a record made with $300 or less of equipment from their local electronics department is nothing to base a record contract on. Dot Dot Curve :)’s Til The Wheels Fall Off is quite possibly the most vile excuse for music I have ever come across and I can only hope that some omnipotent being has mercy on the souls of anyone who buys into this disaster.

*Score: 0/10*

James Shotwell
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6 Responses to “Dot Dot Curve :) – Till The Wheels Fall Off”

  1. Николай says:

    Полезная информация:)

  2. Max says:

    I couldn’t not agree with you more Dot dot curve is a carbon copy of brokencyde. Can’t sing,scream, write songs or play instruments. Yet their making money because their fan base consist of “Scene” kids who look like gay cupcakes and need to learn how to dress properly. This “crunkcore” genre is a putrid thing to call music. Im only 15 but im sure I know what real music is. DO “bands” like dot dot curve and brokencyde think they progress in the musical world? I could say so much more but im ending it. Great Review though :D

  3. Hayley says:

    I can tolerate dot dot curve :-) because they don’t suck live and they aren’t ugly as fuck (like brokenCYDE) but I do think they are like brokencyde in many ways. By the way, Spanky now is with Jayreck. I like crunkcore bands like Millionaires who really look at it more as a joke. I’m glad you mentioned that you listened to the album repeatedly, because I didn’t for my zine reveiw, and got alot of shit for it.
    Great review.

  4. bree bree says:

    you guys are mistaken because dot dot curve and brokencyde rock ur socks off and there drop dead gorgeous and ur a old ugly fagg that has absolutly no taste in music

  5. xlovexisxmurderx says:

    Hey Bree Bree!
    They ARE ugly as shit. Sorry!
    And Hayley, you’re mistaken by the way. The act is HORRIBLE live. Everyone here is wrong,

  6. Maddie says:

    I’m glad I found this. So, right now as I write this, I’m trying to force myself to enjoy Dot Dot Curve. I simply can’t, the closest I can get to enjoying it is sort of liking “Boys Pop The Bottle”, but hardly at that. I’ll admit to being a Brokencyde fan, but Dot Dot Curve… Spanky can’t rap, scream, and I’m not completely sure, but he probably can’t sing at all either. His screams sound like a joke. When he raps he sounds like some Southern Chipmunk. All of his songs feature either media references, material from other artists or his other songs, random screaming, repitivity, talk about how hot or great he is, autotune, random insults, high/low voices, background voices saying, “Yeah, what, what, yeah!”, must I go on? I’m usually quite open minded about music, but this is just horrible.